ABOUT GETTING OLDER
1. My husband and I are both retired and spend more time together. We led busy working lives and my husband was often overseas, so this is a change. We enjoy doing things together and this is balanced by our individual interests which we now have time to pursue. Lying in bed reading in the morning is such a leisurely start to the day.
2. We can have people to lunch during the week as generally our friends are retired, too. Long, lazy, luxurious lunches with some feisty discussions suit us well and leave Saturday free to read the papers with coffee and breakfast and Sunday free for more of the same!
3. I go to a yoga class at 10am on a weekday. Many of the people are older than me and not in full time work. There’s not a lot of lycra. Focusing on flexibility and balance plus lots of relaxation, this class really suits me.
4. We go on holidays when children are in school. As a school teacher for 41 years, my long holidays coincided with families holidaying, too, and often we paid a premium. Not anymore!
5. The house is full and we are beginning to declutter. We have everything we want and more, so no expensive purchases. Now we want less, not more. Not everyone in the house agrees with getting rid of stuff, but it is a work in progress!
6. Age has resulted in more personal time. No children at home, no work rush and pressure, so time to garden, paint, read, walk and all the other things I never really had time to do before. The sense of urgency about getting things done has gone although I still have a TO DO list. Often I ignore it.
7. Many of our friends are a similar age and don’t need more ornaments as gifts, either, so it’s fun thinking of edible or similar gifts. I have time to look for ideas ( hello Pinterest) and time to make things, too. I enjoy creative activities and giving meaningful or edible gifts. And I enjoy making the giftboxes and the cards and sometimes even printing the gift wrap!
8. Issues matter less. I’m more relaxed about political issues and more empathetic about the ideas and passions of others…or I’ve learnt to keep my thoughts to myself!
9. I used to walk later in the evening when dinner was finished and cleaned up, watering the garden and preparing food for the next day was under control and the neighbours were in their homes. Now I walk whenever suits me and chat regularly to people up and down the street. I enjoy this greater sense of community. I also enjoy a gentle meander around the dog park in the cool of the evening, not carefully timetabled in between getting home from work and serving dinner. The dog enjoys it, too!
10. Fashions and fads generally pass me by. I know which colours and styles suit me, so I wear what works. I like a low maintenance hairstyle and eschew very high heels. I’ll try new food ideas but stick with old favourites, too. Instagram is good for following friends on holiday but the faux lifestyle photos have no impact. The confidence of being older, and maybe wiser, is a good thing.
11. We have just become empty nesters for the third time. It was very special having the adult child living with us for the past three years but now he is gone. This is the third time he’s left. The first was to go to the School of Mines in Kalgoorlie when he did Mining Engineering, the second when his company transferred him to Adelaide and now he is off to Kalgoorlie again in his new job.
So, we eat dinner when it suits us and we eat less. Our bigger meal is in the middle of the day, now. We don’t do the same amount of food shopping and what we buy for ourselves is different. Although we miss the energy of him arriving home for dinner weekdays with his news of his day, the time is right for him to move on.
12. Somewhere along the way you get to know what really matters and what doesn’t and who is important and which people will slowly appear less in your life. I have also made new friends through painting, mahjong and book club. I have developed new interests from spending more relaxed time with people. I have learnt to relax and zone out, things I could never master in the past as I was so busy. I think the very best thing about getting older is having time to do what you want.
I wrote this blog two weeks ago. China and Italy were struggling with Covid-19 but Australia was still to develop the same problems and risks. That has all changed in 14 days and will continue to evolve daily. So, like many of you, our day to day engagements are seriously curtailed. There’s no yoga, mahjong, book club or visits to cafes or restaurants. I will stop going to my painting class next week. We go to the dog park and stand well apart from other people and have stocked up on food ( toilet paper, not so much) in case we have to go into quarantine.
The post-CV 19 world will be different from the world we knew before the onset. Financially this is a difficult time for so many people. Emotionally, most people will be focused on who and what really matters in their lives. Keep an eye on elderly or single neighbours and friends.
During these uncertain times take care, wash your hands frequently and don’t expect me to elbow bump as a greeting; you can’t sneeze into your elbow then expect me to touch it! Keep well, be careful and if you’re not in quarantine, go for long walks in the fresh air.